Treatment Poetry: Poem #4...

Venting the Strain
By: Kim Hembry©
July 4, 2011

My heart pounds as anxiety rises
My tummy can't handle all the surprises

My stomach's enraged by what just went in
ED's taunting words I try to defend

Pain is raging on the inside
I really just want to run and to hide

I'm trying to remember that this too shall pass
But I really don't know how long it will last

My body's rejecting the meal I just ate
I'm getting caught up in guilt and self-hate

For giving in to the weakness of food
I'm filled with rashness; my self-talk is crude

I'm torn up inside and struggling to see
That enduring this day is a small victory

For I hear that I've failed, that I've given in
That I've betrayed ED to another friend

That I'm gaining a pound with every bite
That I'm fat and disgusting at the sight

Of all who see me; they gasp in disgust
At what they see; they surely don't lust

Rather, they condemn the sight that they see
Wondering just how I came to be

Such a repulsion and pain to the eyes
With rolls of fat and juggling thighs

I'm so torn within and can't seem to tell
The truth of life from the raging lies of hell

I'm doing my best to make it through tonight
In hopes that I'll wake up to newness of light

I struggle to keep my head held high
I'm overcome by consecutive sighs

But I won't give up and I won't give in
I'll keep straining forward and slowly confer

To this process of healing - to the journey I'm on
I'll keep showing up; I will overcome

One day at a time, taking each step in stride
In each moment lies the choice to choose life!