Perplexities
By: Kim Hembry, Copyright
June 27, 2011
Torn up inside by the taunting lies
Not sure what to do, want to run and hide
Pressure builds up and suffocates me
I just want a way out; I want to break free
The storm that rages within my soul
It's too much to bear; it’s taken control
I need a respite and a moment of peace
I need someone to help me find some release
I’m so confused by the unknowns and uncertainties
I can’t seem to hear anything but ED’s desperate pleas
I just want a way out of this raging HELL
I want to die if I can’t be well
Oh no! That’s not true! I will press on!
But I feel so tired and overcome
I feel like I’ve fallen and failed to the nth degree
I feel like no one can really see
The tormenting HELL and the battle that lies within
That lies underneath this pale white skin
That’s tucked away under my crooked smile
That is screaming for release, the inner child
Can you hear her? Can you see?
Will you respond to her desperate plea?
I just feel like I’m treading water
Like I’m really never going to wind up anywhere
This HELL and torment, this perplexed life
Seems to have gotten the best of me – so torn inside
I just want to break out and get fresh air
But I don’t see a way out; I’m so scared!
I just want to disappear, for it to all go away
I just want to wake up to find a new day
I feel like my hope is gone and am left alone
To try and make sense of the screams and the groans
That are trapped within me, that seek release
That never seem to let me be or leave me in peace
I am desperate for a light to break through
The darkness that limits my view
I am straining to fight – to look ahead
Yet am so overcome by fear and dread
I know that there is something more in store for me
But it seems impossible to see or believe
Because I’m so tired and my vision is skewed
By desperate pleas and mockeries I’ve been subdued
I will keep hanging on by the thread of grace
Trying to remember that Christ took my place
I will try to fight and not give up
I will try to push through in spite of
All that I feel raging within
I won’t let ED win
I will raise my voice and cry out desperately
“God, I need You, please HELP ME!”
His voice responds in peace so gently
“I’ve got you, keep hanging onto Me
I won’t let you go; I never will
Just rest in me; I’ll make you still
I know you feel overcome and your chest is tight
But seek Me, and you’ll be immersed in the Light
I love you precious child; keep pressing on
You’ll be held in My everlasting arms
Just look to me in this moment; you will surely see
That I’m with you, that I hear your plea
My promise is good; to My Word I’m true
I am your Hiding Place, your ultimate Refuge
Come to Me; rest in My Truth
I haven’t let go; I’m with you
Can You feel Me? My peace rushing in?
Can you feel my love breaking in?
I’m with you! I won’t fail you now!
You have not failed! I still hold your crown!
Like I’ve said, the waves will crash in; storms will rage
But you will be freed from this cage
Look to me, cling to me now
Trust Me; I’ll show you how
Just be still, breathe, and know
That I’ll never ever let you go!”
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