An encouraging meditation...

This one is too good not to share! Be encouraged right where you are! Don't give up! Keep picking up your feet to take the step that awaits you!

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Trust the Lord...
Trust your team...
Trust the process...
Trust the journey...
Do what you can today ~ in this moment!

Dear Important Girl,

There are many situations and times in life that hurt, ache, sting and make us feel utterly miserable. Many times those life experiences feel like they have no good purpose... so they feel unfair, useless and even cruel. These kinds of experiences in life can stop us in our tracks and leave us feeling discouraged, depressed and paralyzed. If we let them, these kinds of times can even make us start to believe that somehow we deserve them, or that they are punishments, or that we are not worthy of happiness, joy, pace and goodness. This is a horrible cycle because we stop moving forward, staying stuck in the lies... when these experiences were ACTUALLY MEANT TO GET US MOVING OFF THE WRONG TRACK.

You see, beautiful friend... sometimes we need course correction. Sometimes we need to be guided back to where we belong. Sometimes we are so far from our own path... our own right track... that there is no other way to get us on track than what is happening that feels so cruel, horrible, and painful.

Now think about what you have learned all of the days of your beautiful life. Think about how situations that you were certain would break you ended up (and maybe it took years for this to happen)... ended up teaching you the lessons you needed to learn... lead you to the people you needed to meet... gave you the strength that you didn't quite have yet... made you into the person you are...

Quite possibly you are in a place that hurts. Remember... remember, amazing girl, that you are on the way to where you need to be... and you WILL get through this rough patch in the road... and that really... there is no other way to get there right now... so just keep going... don't stay in this spot.. just keep going... you are getting there. It will be WORTH it!

You are so very loved... and there is a plan. Keep the faith.
XOXO
(Taken from www.bravegirlsclub.com)

Long-awaited update!

Wow... It has been quite a while since I posted a real update...

I guess I will start off this update by saying that I am absolutely surprised about what I am about to share...

If you have been following my blog, you know that I was admitted IP back in June and discharged just in time to start a new job teaching Spanish... Well, since being discharged, I have been working consistently with my treatment team, but though I've been trying to work into some kind of recovery, I have been struggling intensely, and I hadn't been able to follow my meal plan for more than two days in a row, and that was even happening very sporadically...

However, I am glad to report that there has been a breakthrough... It has now been one whole week (actually slightly over) that I have met the requirements of my meal plan...

My team has been super supportive and has been doing their best to help me along this journey... They have been gracious but also very honest with me... They have been trying to help me see the tactics ED continually uses to trap me and keep me bound up... They have been quick to point out deception and distortion... However, I have struggled to trust them... I have struggled even more to trust myself...

At my latest appointment with my dietitian (a little over a week ago), she needed to be pretty honest with me and said a phrase she has said countless times this year, "Your meal plan has NO wiggle room..." Once again she tried to explain to me the importance of being able to see clearly how my meal plan fits into each day... how to put my exchanges out in writing to get them out of my head... Well, I had been struggling so much with doing that, and continuously, I failed to meet the requirements of my meal plan...

Last Saturday, as the weekend got off to a busy start, a strength rose up in me that I know came from my Abba... As this strength came up in me, I mustered up enough courage to make a Word document where I would record the next two weeks of my daily food exchanges... I made a place for each day to be recorded... Well, since last Saturday, the strength and willingness to put out in black and white what I have been taking in has continuously risen up in me...

To be completely honest, it has been a really rough and intensely difficult week as I have tried to walk along this road to recovery... However, I have kept walking...

I have been running the following two phrases back and forth in my mind constantly: "IT IS WORTH IT... THERE IS TOO MUCH AT STAKE NOT TO FIGHT..." Honestly, I don't believe these two phrases wholeheartedly yet, but I can accept them as truth, so I am trying to say them until I am convinced in my innermost being...

As I have walked through this week and have been trying to trust God, myself, and my team, I have had mixed feelings... Part of me knows that I should be happy... that I should rejoice in this week's accomplishment... However, a different part of me is beating myself up... Well, maybe that isn't really a different part of me... Maybe that is ED... I am assuming it is ED that doesn't want me to feel good about these victories because ED will NEVER really fight on my behalf... He ALWAYS fights against me! (I am trying to believe this...)

With all of this being said and put out there, when I saw my therapist on Friday, I was able to share with her about this week's journey... My therapist has been working with me most of this year, and she has stuck with me even though I have not been able to be victorious over ED... I know she really cares and has been fighting on my behalf as I have struggled to fight against ED. The first time I worked with her was eight years ago (when I went to counseling only to appease my parents), so when I told her I had followed my meal plan Since Saturday, she asked if she could give me a hug... As she did, and during the minutes that followed, tears rose up in her... She told me they were tears of joy... tears of thankfulness... The next few minutes, silence reigned in her office as tears welled up in me too...

After sharing all of this and bringing forth this update, I stand in awe of all that has flowed out of me...

Wherever you are on your own journey, keep going!

Whatever you do, DON'T give up! NEVER!

Keep walking with me...

ONE DAY AT A TIME ~ ONE STEP AT A TIME ~ ONE MOMENT AT A TIME!

Dear BRAVE Girl...

What I have pasted below is an excerpt I wrote and posted on a different website, answering the question, "What would you tell a BRAVE girl who is dealing with depression?"

My prayer is that if you, too, are walking along a path, fighting depression, that you would be encouraged as your eyes pass to and fro over these words...

Dear tremendously BRAVE girl!

First off, I am so proud of you for NOT letting go... I know that many times you have felt like it would be easier to take a complete escape from life, but you haven't! Or, maybe you have tried to escape it all, but by the grace of God, you were saved!

Brave girl, wherever you find yourself today, in this moment, whether that be at your lowest low or at a place of decent functionality, know that today has the potential to be the 1st day of the rest of your life! You may be saying to yourself, "No, not for me... Maybe for that girl, or that girl, or ... that girl, but NOT for me..." Brave girl, don't write off the possibility for change because each moment holds the potential for change if we only latch onto even the smallest seed of hope!

Brave one, please know that you are not alone as you face what seems to be an endless pit of darkness... There is a light! I promise! For years I didn't believe there was either, but little by little, I have seen the smallest twinkle of light grow into an overpowering light that continues to grow brighter as I tread forward on the journey of healing.

Depression does not want to let you break free, but freedom is possible... There is a God -- an all-powerful God -- who sees you, who recognizes you, even if you have not acknowledged Him before. He loves you, even if you have spent your whole life feeling completely unlovable... even if you can't figure out how to love yourself... He loves you, and His desire is to free you from darkness and hopelessness that you have known for so long, that you have even grown afraid of leaving, that has somehow become sickly twisted into a false sense comfort at times...

Brave one, take a deep breath... Close your eyes... Breath out... Take another deep breath...

Now, refuse to give up! It cannot be an option!

Take the first step... which is... not letting go of even the smallest tinge of hope... If you struggle to find it, dig deep! Super deep!

Did you find it? If not, don't give up the pursuit!

You are worth fighting for! You are worth saving! You have been created by a Divine Creator with an unparalleled purpose!

You don't have to walk through this season alone! The same One Who has formed you delights in you and takes pleasure in coming alongside you!

Will you let Him walk with you? Will you let Him in?

You are brave, dear one! You are courageous! Each day you choose not to give up, you grow and you experience VICTORY! Each tiny victory that comes with each decision not to give up leads you on the way to the Ultimate VICTORY that awaits you if you dare to keep walking!

Take one day at a time ~ one step at a time ~ one moment at a time!

Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP!

Excerpt by Kim Hembry©

Some encouragement...

Hey there all! I couldn't help but share this one today.... Pray you are blessed as you continue walking on this journey...

"Dear Beautiful Girl,

It's exhausting sometimes to be brave, isn't it? It seems we live in a world where people who are willing to do difficult things are getting more and more rare... But you know the secret to making your dreams come true, right? It is to be willing to do difficult things... and then do them as joyfully as possible.

The things in life that are most worthwhile are difficult to come by, are rare... are hard to get and hard to maintain... but OH SO WORTH IT! It is all worth it, courageous friend.

While others are standing on the sidelines trying to figure out how to get out of doing the work, how to avoid the most discomfort and how to have a drive-through existence... be the ONE who is willing to do what it takes to live an EXTRAORDINARY life.

You will be a legend in no time... because real bravery is hard to come by too... and YOU'VE GOT IT, GIRL!

You are so loved.
XOXO"

I hope this ministers to you as it does to me this morning... Wow!

The journey to recovery requires much bravery, and it is difficult to continuously stand up to ED... It is difficult to stand up to and resist the very real torment that is so powerful and overcoming when we are deep in our eating disorders. However, it all starts with one step of deciding that we are worth fighting for!

You are so brave if you have decided that YOU are INDEED WORTH FIGHTING FOR!

Let us rise up wherever we are on this journey and let us rise up in BRAVERY... Let us choose to say and declare, " I AM WORTH FIGHTING FOR ! "

Take a deep breath, my dear sister (or brother) and don't give up!

We can fight and stand up to ED as we tap into the great strength of the God who rules and reigns and as we come alongside each other!

Have a blessed day!

Brief update... Very brief!

Hey there everyone!

Sorry it has been a little while since I last posted... Man, O man... My journey has been pretty busy lately... However, though it has been pretty busy, by the GRACE of God, I am slowly but surely making some progress... I see my therapist every week which is what I need right now and my dietitian at least every other week... I am actually pretty surprised that I have been able to meet my meal plan since Saturday... This is the first time I have been able to do that for more than a day or two since getting discharged at the end of July, so I am grateful to God for continuing to strengthen me along this journey and for those people in my life who continue to support and encourage me!

If you are one of the special friends in my life who is walking with me along this journey, THANK YOU! Thank you for standing with me and fighting with me to walk free from ED...

Have a blessed evening! Wherever you are on your own journey, KEEP FIGHTING!