Another poem written during the relapse... Lacking HOPE!

Cry for Release
By: Kim Hembry ©
March 24, 2011

There's a call to let go -
Let go of control.
So true I know -
But I can't let go.

My grip is strong -
Firm and tight.
Why can't I do -
What I know is right?

It is not only -
My choice to release,
But will it ever -
Leave me at peace?

The thought of letting go -
Letting go of control...
The thought brings fear -
A scream of "NO!"

To loosen my grip -
I don't know how.
It's important I know -
But I cannot allow.

The fear grows stronger -
Thick and intense.
Thoughts of the future -
Leave me in suspense.

Lord, can you hear -
The cry deep within?
I need You to help me -
To help give in -

To the call You lay forth -
To Your plea.
You're the only One -
Who can help me!

PLEASE!

Another poem written during the relapse... Darkness closes in...

Random Thoughts
By: Kim Hembry ©
March 20, 2011

What I see disgusts me
What I see is fat
What I see is not okay

What I see is ugly
What I see is gross
What I see needs to go away

The reflection repulses
A waterfall of tears gushes
Internal desire crushes

The pain wells up inside
I want to run and hide
Feel like I might try

Another poem written during the relapse... WON'T GIVE UP!

And so on...
By: Kim Hembry ©
March 18, 2011

The battle still rages...
The struggle continues...
But-
I won't lose hope!

The voices still speak...
The fear closes in...
But-
I won't give up!

The pressures are strong...
The tears well up...
But-
I won't deceive!

The pain is intense...
The future's unclear...
But-
I choose to stand!

Not sure what to do...
Not sure what to say...
But-
I'll keep pressing on!

Another poem written during the relapse... There was a thread of TRUTH...

What the Mind Wages
By: Kim Hembry ©
March 17, 2011

I can tell I'm falling deeper into the hold.
I fear I may be losing control.
Or is it that I've risen?
(Slightly from the depth of the pit)
Please remove the blindfold.

I know that both freedom and victory exist.
I know that there's a joy - an utter bliss.
I know I'm meant to live for so much more than this!

Why is it that I can't let go?
Why don't I want to release control?
Why am I settling to stay in this hole?

What's at the center?
What's at the root?
What's driving me?
I feel so confused.

Why can't I eat?
Why can't I truly see -
What this is really doing to me?

There's a tug-of-war happening within.
I feel so fat and ugly,
And I'm dying to be thin.

Yet the value of life isn't on the outside.
But on the inside does it reside.

I'm not meant to survive -
To just barely get by.
I'm called to live an abundant life!

Can you hear the cries -
That come from my heart?
Can you see that I'm falling apart?

Most of you can't -
Probably never will -
Because on the outside, there is a smile still.

How far will I go?
How long will it take?
I know there's way too much at stake.

I've been made for a purpose.
I know that for certain.
A destiny awaits -
Just lift the curtain!

Give me a glimpse of HOPE -
A glimmer of LIGHT.
Help me to see -
The VALUE of my life!

A poem I wrote during the relapse...

She...
By: Kim Hembry ©
March 10, 2011

There was a girl who'd been set free.
She once walked in victory.

This girl started falling yet was seeking release.
She struggled to breathe.

The people around her couldn't see the raging battle within.
Felt she had to give in.

The voices were back and tainted her mind.
She felt so confined.

She hated what she say coming to sway her.
She couldn't get away.

This girl wonders if the freer days are gone.
Can you here her?