So... By the looks of it, I've been quite MIA! This past semester got busy fast -- So busy in fact, that I barely even realized I didn't take the time to blog... I guess it's because I didn't really feel like I had the time to take...
Anyway... Now teaching with my students has wrapped up for the year, and I am now trying to take a little time to "be". Deep down I know I need some quiet time in which I can be restored and refilled because I can honestly say I spread myself a little too thin this semester. (No pun intended!)
Recovery has been quite a feat throughout this semester... I'm still in the race, but I've hit some bumps along the way... Today's actually been a very bumpy day... Below you will find a poem I wrote this morning as I struggled to get up to face today...
"The Smile Hides"
By: Kim Hembry ©
The feelings of self disgust override-
The truth that must be locked inside...
The image reflected back at me-
Is repulsive--can't stand to see...
My jaw clenches tight and locks-
I feel stuck, trapped, and in shock...
My pants are tight; feel them touching me-
I need an escape, some kind of release...
The thoughts that run to and fro within-
They condemn me, saying, I'll never be thin...
I feel out of control, flailing about-
Somehow, it seems, there's no way out...
I'm ashamed of myself and what I've done-
I'm embarrassed to be exposed by the bright sun...
Eating feels like the most terrible choice-
I'm struggling to find the healthy voice...
I feel quite overwhelmed and distraught-
I can't seem to do the things I ought...
I'm afraid to speak up - tell what's inside-
Yet I know it won't help to run and hide...
I feel so close to falling off the edge-
Like I'm being dragged by one leg...
I feel like closing my eyes and going to sleep-
That maybe upon awakening, I'd find some peace...
Yet there's a deep rooted truth that quietly chimes in-
That says, "True peace is found in Him."...
That reminds me that I'm meant for so much more-
That says my value comes from the core...
Of who He made me to be - His child-
The one He chose to reconcile...
Yet with these truths rising up-
I still feel bound and oh so stuck...
I feel alone and tossed about in the waves-
A fresh breath of hope, surely I crave...
For no one knows that all this stirs inside-
For with a smile, I've leaned to hide...
The battle is quite intense right now, and though it's been an overall positive year of progress, there is still a long road ahead of me... I am trying to remind myself that it's...
ONE DAY AT A TIME...
ONE STEP AT A TIME...
ONE MOMENT AT A TIME...
And ONE BITE AT A TIME!
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