It's actually been quite a while since I last posted... Probably too long!
Things have been going alright. I have hit certain bumps on the road to recovery, but I have continued to press forward. I have had slips and falls, but my choice has been to get back up again.
On Friday, I saw both my therapist and dietitians. Praise be to God that He is making a way for me to be able to keep seeing them. When I saw my therapist I took a picture with me that I had drawn. She dissected it... As she looked at it, she said a word... A word that I believe is worth pondering... That word was "BECOMING"... She toldme that I was in a season of becoming and that I should see myself in that place rather than in the extremes of pass and fail... Rather than achieve or be a failure... Rather than black and white... Rather than old and new... Rather than was and is and will be... To see myself in a place of BECOMING...
Truly this word brings up a sense of empowerment. I'm not sure if I am understanding all that it encompasses or not, but as I think about being in a season of becoming, there seems to be a pressure that is lifted off of me... To be in a season of becoming may be where I am for the rest of my life, but as I think about it, that may not be a bad thing...
To choose to be in a season of becoming would mean that certain expectations would fade away... It would mean that certain pressures would be minimized... Choosing to be in a season of becoming means accepting the place where I am on the way to where I am going... It means choosing contentment during the process... It means some gray area... It means understanding that there is give and take... Both steps forward and steps back... It means choosing to believe that each moment is valuable in the big picture... It means choosing to extend grace and mercy to myself on this journey, realizing that perfection is not the expectation... It is choosing to believe that both the victories and the failures help to prepare me for the future that awaits me... It means choosing to extend patience along this journey... It means accepting the process and trusting it is going at the right pace... Wow! Overall it seems like a pretty incredible set of possibilities!
So often I get stuck in a place of such high expectation which leads me into a place of feeling defeated and like a failure and overcome... However, being in a season of becoming seems to provide room for progress, knowledge, learning, and patience...
I think all of what I have written is some of what my therapist was wanting me to see and understand... I believe she desires to see me at a place of acceptance for each day that I face... To be in a season of becoming provides such liberty... It nullifies so many of the "have-to's", "should's", and "ought's."
I will latch onto this new idea as I keep taking this journey one day at a time, one step at a time, one moment at a time, and one bite at a time!
No comments:
Post a Comment