Thursday, October 27, 2011

A poem of expression and a call to get grounded!

This is a poem that came together last night after having a very rough day trying to fight for recovery but feeling very overcome by ED. Though there are tinges of desperation as you read it, I am not without hope! I have chosen to rise up today!

What you will read below is just an honest expression of how I felt last night as defeat tried to creep in. My hope is that if you, too, are feeling like ED has gotten the best of you, please do not lose heart!

Get grounded in some truth - you are worth it! Today is a new day, and what awaits us (though it may bring some anxiety) is far better than what ED can offer and has offered us!


By: Kim Hembry©
October 26, 2011

ED’s beckoning overtook me today
I feel so disgusted
I want to run away

What I saw reflected, what looked back at me
Caused me to sink and
Repulsed me so deeply

Will the mocking stop, will it ever flee?
I’m so full of guilt
So tired of such mockery

Deep within my soul, I long to be free
Yet, I struggle to let go
And fight the beckoning

I’m taunted by the voices; they echo constantly
I can’t seem to ignore
All that rages within me

I’m saddened to the core - afraid to disappoint
I can’t stand all the torment
I feel like ED’s damn toy

The numbers that pass and taunt me in my mind
They never seem to stop
I feel quite undermined

I try to take steps - try responding to the truth
Yet I seem to be impeded
By constant, tormenting abuse

Yet I know I must press on - I know I cannot quit
I'll show up in spite of pain
I long for some respite

Can you come to my aide, can you hear me?
Am I all alone?
The battle is raging

Please hear my cry - hear my desperate plea
I need some extra help
I can’t do this solely

I’m afraid to let you in - I scream silently
If you heard my cry
You’d surely rescue me

Though I seek release from the hellish life I’ve known
I’m afraid of what awaits
Of what I’ve never known

There’s a promise for something better - for something new
Yet I struggle to latch on
I’ve seemed to be subdued

Though I feel perplexed by all that rages in me
I will keep pressing on
I won’t give up easily

I will lift my head and will keep straining ahead
I won’t surrender
To the bleak plight of ED

It will require the strength that overcomes
I can’t do it all alone
But to God’s strength all succumbs

I’ll take a deep breath and take another step
I am meant to soar
I will not become inept

So in spite of the constant mockery, I will stand up
And fight for victory
I’ve been saved by LOVE

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