Friday, May 27, 2011

3 Weeks down... Day 1 of week 4... The POWER of CHOICE!

It's a new day as I continue this journey to RECOVERY. Today marks the first day of the fourth week into RECOVERY... Three weeks down and a lifetime to go. (At least that is what it seems like!) But I will take this process and journey in stride!


The past two days I have only been able to get in three and a half rounds (out of five) because I have not been feeling well this week. I feel like those two days have been setbacks and failures, but I am trying to remember that I cannot expect or demand perfection on this journey.

I will remember that today is a new day with a clean slate... It will be filled with its own array of victories and struggles... In this moment, it is important for me to shift my focus from what I haven't been able to accomplish to what I have been able to accomplish in spite of uncomfortable and unpleasant circumstances. I cannot focus on the lack of success but rather on the successful steps! This journey is not going to be identical each day because I am changing each day as I continue to choose LIFE! It is important for me to be patient with the process, with my body, and with myself as I press on each day.

I am reminded of a quotation that a friend told me. "They say she's going backwards. Indeed she is; she's getting ready to take a BIG leap forward." That is how I need to view the setbacks that I experience on this journey - as opportunities to propel me and catapult me forward - as I get up and choose to keep fighting! "Success is not measured in never falling, but in rising each time you fall!" Today is a new day! I will press on and choose LIFE! ONE STEP AT A TIME ~ ONE MOMENT AT A TIME!

My devotional for today reminds me that what I've already shared about perspective for the day comes down to my mind - what is permitted to rule and reign there!

"Seek My face at the beginning of your day. This practice enables you to "put Me on" and "wear Me" throughout the day. Most people put on clothes soon after arising from bed. Similarly, the sooner you "put Me on" by communicating with Me, the better prepared you are for whatever comes your way. To "wear Me" is essentially to have My mind: to think My thoughts. Ask the Holy Spirit to control your thinking; be transformed by this renewal within you. Thus you are well equipped to face whatever people and situations I bring your way. Clothing your mind in Me is your best preparation for each day. This discipline brings JOY and PEACE to you and those around you."

How true this is for anyone walking on the journey to RECOVERY from ED because our minds are where the struggle and bondage of the disease are initiated. It is also where change must take place in order for FREEDOM to come. Part of "putting Christ on" in my mind is choosing TRUTH - replacing the lies of ED with the TRUTH! It is a continual process, but a VITAL ONE! As TRUTH is given territory in our minds and responded to over the lies, one step at a time, change occurs, and RECOVERY becomes a choice. LIFE becomes a choice! I want to "put Christ on" each day, and I need to "put Him on" numerous times in one day, in order to press on in this this journey!

Psalm 27:8 reminds me that really my LIFE depends on the Lord. He chose to give me life, and time and time again, He has chosen to save and rescue my life. I cannot think that I can do each day on my own! Rather, it is in Him - only in Him - that I can truly choose LIFE! "You have said, Seek My face [inquire for and require My presence as your vital need]. My heart says to You, Your face (Your presence), Lord, will I seek, inquire for and require [of necessity and on the authority of Your Word]." For me, this verse rings true to my need. It is only God who breathes HOPE into me to press on in this journey when I find myself alone. He is a vital necessity for me to be able to choose LIFE! I want to long for His presence
and His Word more than I do right now... He is a vital need for me on this journey!

Romans 13:14 reminds me of the power for good or for bad that our minds possess. "But clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah), and make no provision for [indulging] the flesh (put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature] to [gratify its] desires (lusts)." To clothe myself with Christ (for me) means to clothe myself with TRUTH, with LIGHT, and with LIFE! All three of these things are in juxtaposition to what ED tries to clothe me with - LIES, DARKNESS, and DEATH. Wow! I've never seen this so plainly before! Listening to TRUTH leads to FREEDOM and LIFE! Listening to LIES leads to BONDAGE and DEATH!
One of the most valuable steps in RECOVERY is recognizing that we have the power of CHOICE! ED has been demanding, and we've been conforming for years (or maybe our whole life!), and we completely lose awareness of choice, but as clarity is brought in during some of the first steps to RECOVERY (i.e. restoring nutrients in our bodies), awareness of CHOICE starts to come... I am being continually reminded that I have the daily - hourly - moment~by~moment - choice to CHOOSE LIFE!

For me it is becoming more empowering to choose LIFE each day (by the power and strength of God on the inside of me!). I have felt so empowered in the past by being able to deny myself food when others were gorging themselves with it or when I could get by with eating what I wanted and then get rid of it all, and the list continues... But I was deceived then... Now, I am learning that it is more empowering to choose LIFE - to want to LIVE!

I will choose LIFE as I face round one of intake for today!

(Written later)

Round one has been completed, and though my body is fighting against it, I will not become discouraged, but I will exercise patience with my body. I will keep pressing on today in the supernatural STRENGTH of my Abba. I will not demand perfection, but I will take each following round in stride and do my best to choose RECOVERY today!


(Written later)

Round two is almost complete... I am doing a little better today... I will remind myself...


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