Friday, May 20, 2011

Week 3... Day 1... A good day!

Starting off the day... Round one is in the works as the Lord builds me up on the inside!

My heart is encouraged as I read Isaiah 61:10, "I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with garland, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels." Even when I feel disgusting about myself, God looks at me and sees His precious, beloved daughter who is covered in His glorious garments - who is clothed in His splendor! That astounds me!

This journey that I'm on also includes the facet of coming out of the darkness and isolation that ED brings. As I look at John 8:12, I am reminded that no matter how dark some days may seem, as I follow the Lord, I am brought into the light! "Once more Jesus addressed the crowd. He said, I am the LIGHT of the world He who follows Me will not be walking in the dark, but will have the LIGHT which is LIFE!" As I follow and yield to the Lord in this process - ONE DAY AT A TIME ~ ONE STEP AT A TIME ~ ONE MOMENT AT A TIME - I am not only being brought into greater light, but even better, I am being brought into LIFE!

(written later)

Revving up for round two after having two visits with two very special friends... I am grateful to God for the small group and team that He has built up around me to support and encourage me to walk on this journey. Though there are many steps along this path and on this journey that I have to walk alone in the physical right now, it is so comforting to know that God has raised up a few on my behalf that help to remind me of the value in choosing to walk in RECOVERY and in choosing LIFE - ONE DAY AT A TIME ~ ONE STEP AT A TIME ~ ONE MOMENT AT A TIME!

I have a little anxiety rising up right now as I recall something that I heard early this morning when I couldn't sleep... My parents were talking in their room, and I could tell that it was about me... I could tell that my dad was disgruntled and very opinionated about something regarding me - to the point that I heard my mom begin to cry... I don't really know what they were talking about, and I struggle with the option to just try and forget what I heard or to ask and confront and to open up the floor for something to be said to my face directly... I don't know... It weighs heavily on my heart... Maybe I will talk to my mom about it when she goes with me to help me clean the place where I will be staying for most of the summer! "Lord, lead me in how to handle what I probably was not meant to hear - whether to just let You heal my heart and be my Defender and Advocate or whether You want me to speak up... I will trust You!"

(written later)

Overall, today has been a good day! Of course it came with its own struggles and hardships, but the blessings of today seemed to outweigh the struggles... That is miraculous for me!

I'm just finishing up round five for today, and though it's kinda late, I am FINISHING!

Today marked the start of week three in RECOVERY! I am reminding myself today that the path to healing is worth the journey, and that though progress will be slow, it is important for me to be patient with my body...

I am hoping and praying to get some rest tonight!

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