Thursday, May 26, 2011

Today makes week 3... In need of SUSTAINING!

Wow... I am already behind today, and I haven't even started my rounds of intake yet...

I have not been feeling well over the past four days or so, and yesterday I wasn't able to finish all five rounds of intake. I only finished three and a half... That frustrates me, but then I know that I did try! My body just isn't cooperating well... With every sip yesterday, I seemed to feel worse...

This morning I already don't feel very well, and that makes starting so much harder. I contacted my nutritionist yesterday, so maybe she will have some advice for me today... I don't know... All I feel like doing today is curling up in a ball... I am experiencing such cramping and stomach pain and feel so inflated... However, I know I need to try and face the first round for today (even though it is late and I am already off schedule!). No one ever said this process was pain free; I just didn't remember it being so painful in the past. If you knew me, you would know that I have a very HIGH pain tolerance, and I rarely if ever show pain...

I am in need - in DESPERATE need - of some encouragement to press on today!

This a beautiful and much needed promise for today. "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]" (John 16:33) I have to admit that in the present moment, it is hard for me to be of good cheer, but i will choose joy and believe that its manifestation will come! My heart is comforted, however, to know that God sees where I am and encourages me by reminding me that the evils of this world have been overcome, thus making me victorious. The ultimate victory won't be experienced until I am on the other side of heaven, but it gives me hope to press on today - even though it will be very difficult!

Today I surely can't trust in my own strength to carry me through. Only the SUPERNATURAL ~ ALL-SURPASSING STRENGTH of the Lord will overcome the obstacles and the weakness of this day.

I am reminded of the incomprehensible magnitude of God as I read from Revelation 22:13, "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last (the Before all and the End of all)." He has seen the end since before the beginning because He is ever-present!

I will fix my eyes upon Him as I start out this day, knowing that He see what is on the other side of this battle. I won't depend on myself to make it through today, but I will depend on Him. As the lies rage, I will declare TRUTH. As my body fights, I will declare PEACE and HEALING. I will not be defeated by the incomplete day of yesterday, but I will believe that the mercies of God are new for me today, and I will take today in stride!

(Written later)

It is after noon, and I am still on Round one for the day... I am trying not to be discouraged, but I am feeling pretty discouraged in the moment!

Some encouragement from a friend is helping me to press on... "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." (James 1:2-4, MSG) God is by our side and uses our trials and triumphs for the GOOD... Doesn't mean that all we go through is pleasant by any means. Your body is going to take a lot of time to heal and to catch up. Your days will not be perfect, nor should you demand perfection; for we will always fall short. Today is different than yesterday because you have learned things yesterday that you didn't know before. You took steps yesterday that helped you build onto today's steps. You are more wise than you were yesterday. You have another day of RECOVERY under your belt. God is even more a part of your life than He was yesterday because I believe that each day we seek God, we invite Him into our hearts closer and closer. I am rooting for you girl! I believe in you so much!

These words are very encouraging for me right now, and I am grateful for the inspiring words and TRUTH from a friend to help me to keep my head up today! I will press on, and I won't expect perfection! I will do my best today, and I WON'T GIVE UP!

It is a true test of faith to walk in gratitude when we are facing trials and tribulation, but there is something about keeping our hearts in a position of gratitude and thankfulness that keeps us grounded and focused on the HIGHER things... For me, to thank God in the midst of pain and suffering continues to humble me. It reminds me that He is all-powerful and that He is in control, even when I don't understand! What really stands out to me from these verses is when it says that we shouldn't try to get out of anything prematurely... It is not fun to walk through the difficult seasons of life, but we aren't supposed to run away from them either! We are supposed to keep our gaze fixed upon God - the Author and Finisher of our faith!

There is a set of verses in Isaiah 43 that say, "Fear not. For I have redeemed you; I have called you by name. You are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned." These verses remind me that God never promised that the storms and waves of life would not come crashing down all around us, but He did promise to be WITH us. He never said we wouldn't walk through the fires of life, but He did say that we would not be burned! Through each of the unpleasant seasons of our lives, He remains faithful to sustain us as we look to Him and trust Him. I believe that thanking Him in the midst of these hardships winds up being more for us than for Him. It helps us to remain HOPEFUL! It helps us to keep FIGHTING! To keep PRESSING ON!

(Written later)

I am finally on round two of intake today... I will take this one in stride and finish what I can today! ONE STEP AT A TIME ~ ONE MOMENT AT A TIME!

(Written later)

It's 6:15PM, and I am finally starting round three for the day... I am not too sure if I will be able to get another round in today... I will have to see how this one goes... I'M ALLOWED TO GIVE MY BODY NOURISHMENT... I'M ALLOWED TO NOURISH MY BRAIN... ONE STEP AT A TIME... ONE SIP AT A TIME... ONE MOMENT AT A TIME! I speak peace to my body in the name of Jesus. I speak peace to my mind in Jesus' name. I AM SELF-SUFFICIENT IN CHRIST'S SUFFICIENCY! PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION... LIFE! LIFE! RECOVERY! FREEDOM! HIS STRENGTH NOT MY OWN!

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