Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A new day with new VICTORIES, new STRUGGLES, and new MERCIES! Pressing on in the 5th Week!

A new day awaits with new victories, new struggles, and new mercies with which to encounter them. Though ED tries to pry open my mind and fill it with every sort of torment as I embrace this new day that stands before me, I will try to turn my focus to the TRUTH - that I may face the new experiences that await me today. As depression tries to keep me down, I will choose t rise up and say that I shall receive a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. I will seek the face of my Abba! I will claim His promises! I will choose to face today ~


I will admit that the fight for my LIFE is still very intense. I am still struggling to be convinced that my life is worth fighting for, but I am clinging to the promises of God's Word this morning as accepting them as truth. As I continue to speak forth the TRUTH, the lies will be displaced, so (in faith) I will say:

I was chosen by my Abba before the foundation of the earth. He foreknew me and destined that I would be given LIFE. He knit me together in my mother's womb - bringing together every fiber of my being. He says that He has called me - called me by name - that He has even written my name on the palm of His hand. He says that He has good thoughts toward me that outnumber the grains of the sand. He says that He knows the plans that have been laid out for my life. He says that they are good plans that lead me to HOPE and a FUTURE. He says that I've been purposed to live. He says that my value is above - it's higher - than the most precious of jewels. He says that He would give nations in exchange for my life - to save me! I will choose - in this moment - to say that in Him, i am valuable! I will choose to cling to the promises of His Word - in this moment - and I will choose LIFE! I will choose to fight for the life that He has saved time and time again. I will choose to believe that no struggle could ever separate me from the LOVE of my Abba who has adopted me and has thus made me an heir to His glorious riches. I will claim PEACE! I will claim JOY! I will claim STRENGTH! I will claim HEALING! I will claim FREEDOM! I will claim DELIVERANCE! I will claim LIFE ABUNDANT! I will choose LIFE in this moment!

I will claim the truth I find in John 16:33 as a promise for me. "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have OVERCOME the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have CONQUERED it for you.]" This verse is full of the amazing bounty of the faithfulness of my Lord. For me, it is comforting to see that Jesus knew that this life would be full of many unpleasant circumstances and down right painful situations. However, He didn't just warn us, He gave us the promise of PERFECT PEACE and CONFIDENCE IN HIM to face each of the stumbling blocks on our journey. He also says that He has OVERCOME the world and has deprived it of power to harm me (or you!). He is shielding me as I go through this battle!

In Luke 12:22-31, Jesus it talking to His disciples. They must have been anxious and worried about several things (and in need of some encouragement and TRUTH) because Jesus is gave them a charge that they needn't worry. I needed to read this passage of scripture again today because in this passage, Jesus points out the worth and value of His disciples' lives as sufficient reasoning that God would provide for them and meet their needs. He says, "Observe and consider the ravens; for they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn; and [yet] God feeds them Of how much more worth are you than the birds!... Consider the lilies, how they grow. They neither [wearily] toil nor spin nor weave; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory (he splendor and magnificence) was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today, and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will he clothe you, O you [people] of little faith?" (vs. 24, 27, 28) Jesus was affirming the value in His disciples (while also bringing forth truth that brought correction), and that's what He desires to do for me and for you. He desires that we see ourselves as valued, loved, cared for, provided for, protected, seen, recognized, not forgotten! For me, in this moment, I need to be told and reminded of my value as a daughter of God that is worth the pursuit and worth fighting for, but I also love that in these verses, there is a promise for provision. I also will be claiming this promise! OUr Lord delights in providing for us. I am glad about that! I will trust that He will meet my needs according to His riches in Glory. As I face numerous medical bills, the necessities of life, and all that lies in between, I will look to my God, who is JEHOVAH JIREH, "Our Provider." I will claim His provision and the promises found in Luke 12:31-32. "Only aim at and strive and seek His kingdom, and all these things will be supplied to you also. Do not be seized with alarm or struck with fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom!" Wow! I will claim - believe and receive - the fulfillment of these promises! (Because He says I have been made worthy in Him!)

Now as I choose to face the physical side of this battle regarding my intake for today, I will let what I have already taken into my Spirit strengthen me and will allow God to equip me to face the first round of intake for today. I will pray and breathe - I will breathe in His PEACE! I will choose to take this first step to nourish my body today. I will not focus on what I will be able to accomplish throughout the whole day, but I will fix my gaze on my Abba, and I will face the step in front of me. I will press on and take in in stride ~ ONE SIP AT A TIME! For He shall be my STRENGTH!

(Written later)

Even though it was late when I started to face my first round of intake, I started it and finished it. It has been taking me around two hours to get down my first round of intake since altering it some, but I am choosing to face it ~ ONE SIP AT A TIME!

I am now nearing the point at which I need to start facing my second round of intake for today. I am not looking forward to it (as I feel so full) but I am clinging to my Abba and the TRUTH I spoke this morning. It is so hard to keep putting things in my body when I am never hungry... However, I will choose to press on with this second round in a little while!

I have realized over the past several days that I really do need to take each round in stride and be patient with my body, with my mind, with myself - day in and day out! It is a process and a journey! I need to remember that it is not about how much I can accomplish or achieve, but that my willingness to press on when I don't want to or feel like I can is also a huge part of the victory each day. If it takes me longer to work up to facing my first round of intake, I need to realize that it is okay for me to face the subsequent rounds in a timely manner and not force myself into finishing all five rounds just so I have a "good" or "perfect" report for my nutritionist because when I do that, I only wind up feeling more frustrated, and my body and my mind don't handle it so well. I know that my team is helping me to set attainable goals in regards to my intake and that nourishing my body and getting it built back up is important and vital, but I also feel like I have to be able to gauge what I can deal with and handle each day on this journey. I will press on... Taking it in stride!


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