Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Poem I wrote last night when I was choosing to stand up to ED...

Raging Moment

By: Kim Hembry ©

June 20, 2011

Trying to resist the dark and desperate plea

Trying to resist ED’s beckoning

I promised I would fight tonight

That I wouldn’t give in to the lie

But the only thing that seems to come

Is the thought that tomorrow I can run

To fill the desire that rises within

And still manage to fight to be thin

I chose to deny the cry for release

I chose to stand up to ED’s cunning deceit

But I push through this night, trying to stand up to him

But tomorrow he’ll gain some ground, and he’ll probably win

I’m in need of release, in need of some peace

But how can I keep fighting yet experience some relief?

The strain that rises, the pressure that builds

Seems only to promise hope if I yield

To the voices that scream and rage in my mind

That never cease, that continually bind

I’m so torn inside; yet I don’t want to hurt

Those who are fighting for me to endure

The battle that rages, the fight for my life

The intense, increasing struggle to press on and survive

I’m lost in confusion, trying to seek the truth

But I’m hardly able to stand up to ED’s abuse

The hell that rages, that’s become so real

That’s helped to keep me from being able to feel

The pain that rages, the sorrow within

I’m still fighting the want to be thin

I don’t know how to stand up to his voice

Even though I’ve been told I have a choice

The battle for my life grows harder every day

The choice to show up, not to give up and sway

Only seems to increase, to become more trying

Somehow I never realize that I’m slowly dying

Is it even possible to resist all the lies

Can I really escape the torment and disguise?

There is so much raging in my soul

I’m longing to be heard, to be made whole

Is it possible for me to overcome

The voices that rage inside, the growing temptation to run?

Can I stand up? Can i keep fighting?

Or is it nuts that I’m still trying?

To fight for my life, to keep pressing on

The battle’s too intense and strong

But somehow I will not give up and quit

Because deep down I want to live

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